Endo Stole My Baby by Lisa Wolstenholme

Endo stole my baby

‘You might want to lose some weight before trying again.’

This is what the lovely anaesthetist said to me before I was meant to operated on for exploratory work to find out why my HcG levels were still rising after I’d had a miscarriage. #IgnorantBitch

What she didn’t appreciate was that I was relatively healthy for an ex-smoker with a penchant for a glass of SSB. #ImNotFatImShortForMyWeight Who the hell did she think she was lecturing me on what I should do to have a baby? She also made no mention of the thing that was ravaging my insides, the thing that had been responsibly for several miscarriages, erratic hormones, endless days spent in agony, and many dignity-stealing strips to doctors who put my condition down to pelvic inflammatory disease, being overweight, chlamydia(!), or just plain old bad periods.

Turned out, I had an ectopic pregnancy, and at nearly nine weeks gestation and having had a fleeting glimpse of my little ‘bud’ growing inside me—albeit in the wrong place—my baby was taken away. The victim of an unspeakable monster—Endometriosis. #EndoMonster

 The first time the monster came into my vocabulary was when I was thirty-one. I’d spent seven years going back-and-forth to the local GP with complaints of rancid period pain after I’d finished bleeding. After many prescriptions for antibiotics, painkillers, stronger painkillers, and swabs for STD’s (I was—still am—in a committed marriage FFS - #ThereGoesMyDignity), I finally got a referral for a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy: keyhole surgery to look inside and around my womb. After the op, the term ‘Endometriosis’ was given as a diagnosis. It was all around the back of my uterus causing my bowels to stick to it. I was given a year to try and conceive naturally. Thankfully, it only took nine months, and I now have a gorgeous teenage daughter as a result. #Thankful But the story doesn’t end there. We tried for many years to have another child, but to no avail. We even started going through fertility testing (at least I wasn’t the only one having my dignity trodden on this time). Still no joy.

By the time I reached forty-two, I’d just about given up. Then by some miracle, and with tell-tale signs of strange things happening in my nether regions and with my boobs, I became pregnant, although I was convinced I’d already miscarried. But the tests said otherwise, although my HcG levels were quite low. Even a five-week scan showed a foetal pole in my womb! I was scheduled in for another scan at eight weeks, but just days before I started losing clots—big ones. Game over.

The scan showed nothing; my little bean was gone. I had the obligatory blood tests just to keep the doctor happy. When I went in for the results, my doctor informed me my HcG levels hadn’t dropped. Nothing unusual as it was quite soon after the miscarriage, but as a precaution he ordered more blood tests. Several days later he was writing me a referral for the hospital because the HcG levels were rising! The words ‘ectopic pregnancy’ were muttered and typed onto the letter. I was in shock.

It took four days in one hospital, then a referral to a specialist women’s hospital to find the ectopic pregnancy and then quickly remove it. Just. Like. That. #WTF?

After the op, the surgeon told me my insides were a mess. I’d lost my left fallopian tube, my ovaries were ‘kissing’, I had several chocolate cysts, scar tissue covered much of my abdominal organs and my abdomen was filled with blood. Lovely. Just lovely.

This was all the work of endometriosis, the baby thief.

But was it, and how do we know when to worry?

In a nutshell, endo is when the uterine tissue ‘endometrium’ somehow finds its way outside of the womb. There is no proven reason why it happens, and there is no cure.

It’s a mysterious, misery-inducing monster.

Now, I’m not a doctor, and I’m not about to prescribe anything toanyone. All I can do is share what I’ve experienced living with endo, and what I’m on high alert for watching my daughter mature. So here goes:

·         I was twelve when I got my first period and suffered cramping from the get-go. I remember two girls at school discussing how only fat girls get period pain. #Ignorantbitches

·         The pain ramped up several notches in my twenties after I stopped taking the pill, and I started experiencing excruciating pain, and by excruciating think flesh being ripped from your bones, but not quite as bad as childbirth #Queens. This pain would generally happen in the early hours of the morning when my period had finished. I would break out into a cold sweat, whiter than a shirt soaked in Vanish, and spend hours doubled-up over the loo. The ache in my abdomen would generally last for several days after.

·         It happened at work once, and I was carted off to hospital in an ambulance #SoEmbarrasing, later to be sent home after a painkiller shot in the butt and told it was a bad period pain. #WTF!

·         My periods became increasingly erratic and I’d get stale brown blood days before the surge (I kid you not-clots and everything!) #Eww

·         Intimate relations (ahem) with my hubby became painful. #YouveGoneTooFarNow

·         Unfortunately, diagnosis can take an awfully long time. In my case, eight years in total. It’s because doctors can’t see endo on scans. The only way to know for sure is to have a poke around internally i.e. an operation.

·         Even after getting the diagnosis there is no sure-fire treatment. I went on the pill, went off the pill, took various types of painkiller, lost weight, gained weight, considered having another op to have the endo lesions removed #FeelingSickNow. None of it made any difference.

So is there a happy ending to this? For me, the answer is yes and no. Yes, because I’m one of the lucky ones who had a healthy child, and no because endo not only stole my baby, but also my fertility in its entirety.

A couple of years after the ectopic pregnancy I developed cysts on my ovaries. I went to an OB and was advised to have a hysterectomy. During that operation, my ovaries had to be removed too and my insides were likened to a train wreck. #HelloHRT

Since the hysterectomy, endo is no longer an issue, but the emotional (even some physical) scars remain.

So my advice to anyone who is experiencing anything down below that does not seem right/the norm/typical, then please for the love of SSB and chocolate, hound your doctor until he/she sits up and takes notice. Even if having babies is not on your radar, get that shit sorted so you can still have the option. #KeepItRealGirls

This website is a great resource for all-things endo: https://www.endometriosisaustralia.org/

#endometriosis #endometriosisperth

Lisa x

Tell us about your book...

‘For the Love of Dogs’ is a story about how what initially divides us can sometimes reunite us. Sarah, the protagonist, is single and charged with dog-sitting her mother’s pooch, Daisy, for a few weeks. Daisy is not the most well-behaved dog, and through a series of mishaps on Daisy’s part, Sarah comes face-to-face with her ex, Rick. The reason Rick is her ‘ex’ is down to Tobey, his unruly four-legged friend, who drove a wedge between him and Sarah. The question is, can differences be overcome, and lost love reclaimed?

As a dog lover, finding inspiration for my story was easy: my first four-legged friend, Brie—a staffy cross rescue—provided ample fodder for ‘Daisy’, the dog my main character Sarah has to dog-sit. Brie liked to roll in smelly stuff; cat poo was her favourite. She also liked her home comforts, something Daisy is keen on too, like sleeping on the bed, commandeering the sofa, and being quite particular about food. Brie sadly passed away last year at the age of sixteen, but filled my life and my heart.

My other dog, Mac, is more like ‘Tobey’—Sarah’s ex Rick’s dog. Mac is a Mastiff x Kelpie who, although five this year, still acts like a puppy and thinks he’s small enough to sit on my lap. He’s a doofus who doesn’t know his own strength and has learned many bad habits from Brie.

As for Sarah and Rick, well… I wanted a storyline that reflected the struggles people face when sacrifices have to be made. How it must feel to lose the love of your life because a four-legged fiend has driven you and your partner apart.

LISA WOLSTENHOLME

Lisa is a mum, wife, former IT project leader and ex-crisis counsellor currently working for the Katharine Susannah Prichard (KSP) Writers’ Centre in Greenmount, Western Australia as the Executive Officer of their publishing service, Wild Weeds Press. She is also the KSP Board Secretary, has run a writing group at the centre and delivered creative writing and self-publishing workshops.

Her debut women’s fiction novel, The Sunrise Girl, was published in December 2019 by MMH Press and tells the story of a woman’s journey to self-forgiveness and authenticy in the aftermath of her husband’s death.

She also has two traditional publications: a novelette, When Love Breaks Down, published in August 2019 by Serenity Press, and a short story, ‘The Wash’, published in December 2018 by Serenity Press as part of their Passages anthology.

Lisa is drawn to penning stories about life and loss, with a dash of love sometimes thrown in for good measure, and when not writing or loitering around KSP, Lisa enjoys reading, travelling, music and more wine than is good for her.

Visit https://www.lisawolstenholme.com for more details.

Paw Prints of Love

Anthology Authors- Lisa Knight, Fiona Greene, Teena Raffa, Susan Dunn, Helen Walton, Leah Kinninmont, Jenny Lynch, Lisa Wolstenholme, Carolyn Wren and P.L. Harris.

Love can call on us in the most unusual places. In this fictional seaside town of Stonecrest Bay, love is on the horizon and the one place you’re sure to run into the unexpected is The Funny Bone, Dee Chambers’ dog grooming salon.

A solo-dad comes to Stonecrest Bay to start a new life with his young son. A four-legged pastry loving friend causes havoc in more ways than one. A house-sitter finds herself in a hair-raising chocolaty situation. A man bent on finding a replacement farm dog finds more than he planned at the town fair. A woman gets more than she bargained for when she comes face to face with her ex. A new resident arrives with hidden secrets. And a pro surfer finds unexpected romance.

From reignited high school crushes to unexpected birthday surprises, readers will be swept up in these stories of young love blossoming, heartache and healing, old lost loves rekindled, and of new hearts connecting in Stonecrest Bay where the unpredicted could stroll around the next corner. There’s a story for everyone in this light-hearted collection of sweet romantic stories reminding us that it’s all for the love of dogs.

Enjoy this collection of stories from ten different Australian authors set in the fictional seaside town of Stonecrest Bay.

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